Never been critiqued ..

[Shaun Othen]

Hi, would love a critique on the attached image. Its charcoal on Strathmore 400.

• This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Joshua Jacobo.

[xelael]

Hello, Shaun. There seems to be some problem with the text in your post, so the image isn’t appearing large on the screen. In any case, one can open it by right clicking and opening in a new tab. It’s a beautiful drawing. Very nice handling of charcoal there, great texture and values.

I would point out a few anatomical things, though. Joshua can do a much better job than me so hopefully he gets to critique it too.

The first thing that pops up is a strange protuberance on the trapezius near the rhomboid major area, as it bulges out over the spine. I don’t have means to visually point it out to you at the moment, so hopefully you get what I mean. It does look like it’s a much exaggerated form there.

Secondly is the alignment of the torso in the relation to the hips. It feels like the natural line of the spine doesn’t quite follow down to where it should as it connects to the sacrum. I see the iliac spines look correctly aligned, so perhaps the torsion was exagerated for movement, but the gluteal cleft in this pose would probably have some sort of tilt, I don’t know.

Last thing would be that foot. I can’t quite see clearly any construction or gesture, so I would prefer either some more clarity as to where it sits, or it’s complete absence in a value mass like you did in other parts instead of just having a couple of fingers barely sitting there.

It’s still a terrific drawing and looks gorgeous regardless of those things.

[Joshua Jacobo]

I fixed the image. not sure what happened… Awesome work Shaun. We were just discussing tonal approaches in the last stream but this is a great example of doing it well.

[Ramona Hornung]

Hi Shaun Othen,

this is a gorgeously  expressive drawing! Love the textures of the charcoal and the restrained use of line which balances the atmosphere created by the airy texture.

Xelael made some good points, there are a few loose ends as to what the structure of the figure is concerned. I feel, when one works loosely like this, its best to conceive of the figure in simple constructive forms: boxes, cylinders, to make sure the forms hold together and flow into one another.

I took the liberty of diagraming a bit on top of your drawing, hope you find it useful. Keep in mind, I intend well, but am little qualified to give advice really, so take it with a grain of salt.

I think, mainly the trapezius, neck, and head area are a bit unclear. the left shoulder is set too low this makes the neck feel too long. Also it feels as if the dark mass for the hair does not allow enough space for the cranium. I‘d  make it more clear as to where the torso inserts in the hips,  by drawing the overlapping line.

I hope this is of any help.Thank you for sharing this. I wish you well!

[Shaun Othen]

Hi, thank you so much for your comments. I very much agree with your anatomical critique. After spending a lot of time with the image I think I became blind to certain elements of construction. Looking at it again with your words in mind the errors are quite clear. Thank you again.

Regards

Shaun

[Shaun Othen]

Hi Ramona

Thank you for your comments. Really appreciate your overlapping image. I think I’d lost sight of certain elements of construction during the rendering process. Your drawing has really helped me to see those. Thanks again

Shaun

[Joshua Jacobo]

@shaunothen your work was critiqued by @joshuajacobo:

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